I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
