i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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