look no pants
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Two words: blizzard sex
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
