1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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