i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
