Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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