The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
