So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
