Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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