Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize