okay pat passed out under dana's car
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize