well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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