Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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