We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
