is your mom at the bar?
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize