So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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