Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
