You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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