look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
if i died would you start the facebook group?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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