She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he fucked my hip out of place.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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