I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
