Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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