your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
