quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize