How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
two words: eviction party
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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