check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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