They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
