Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
