what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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