They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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