the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
