he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
