If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Randomize
