Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
