You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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