dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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