he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
