haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
bring money and cleavage
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
