some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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