You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You are the jesus of drinking
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
