Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
