I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
