the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
