I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Everyone says I win the strip club
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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