I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
