remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
