New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
