handjob tips. give me some.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
