Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
