If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Oh god it's open bar.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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