I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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