i think my mom watched the whole time
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
