I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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