Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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