I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
