come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize