i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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