Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
