I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
