I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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