I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
